Monday, June 07, 2004


Raven is drinking coffee and reading the political writings of Simon Bolivar. His feathered face narrows into a frown.

“Boy is there nothing new under the sun!”

What’s up, Raven?

“Bolivar said, ‘I fear peace more than war’. Do you think that’s what’s going on inside of the Bush Gang?”

Inside? I have a very hard time imagining any of those one-dimensional fascists having what we might risk calling an “interior”.

“What is it, then, that they fear?”

Probably they fear being booted out of the power before they have corralled all the planet’s resources for their various multinational companies.

“Why, then, do you think Bolivar feared peace?”

That’s a whole lot easier question, Rave. Bolivar was able to unify folks in Colombia, Venezuela and Peru at least briefly when he was actively waging war against the Spanish. Guys that in other circumstances were ready to cut each other’s head off would pull together when the Patria was at stake. Then, after a decisive victory, they would go back to intriguing and putting banana peels under each other’s heels. Especially the heels of Bolivar. Let’s not forget that he died broke, wearing a borrowed shirt, driven out of Venezuela and pretty much out of Colombia, too.

“But he was vindicated later.”

Well, yeah—if you call it vindicated that they brought his bones back to Caracas, and that he’s the central figure in their Pantheon. Fat lot of good that did him almost 20 years earlier, when he lay dying in Santa Marta.

“I see a definite similarity. The Bush Gang grabbed hold of 9/11 as a pretext to start declaring wars and limiting the options of US citizens to question them on the basis that questioning their authority was unpatriotic. They wouldn’t have been able to pull off the Afghan Pipeline Caper in Peacetime—the Clinton Gang had already tried that, and after they wined and dined the Taliban, the deal went tits up anyway.”

Okay, I follow you. So when the Afghan Pipeline Caper became clearly unviable for the Bush Gang, too, as they couldn’t control the situation, they declared war on Iraq—with the idea of continuing to wage war so that, first, Bush is elected in November of 2004 and that, second, no one steps aside from the patriotic prattle to mention that the Cross-Eyed Cretin has started to resemble Adolf Hitler.

“Hitler was much more simpatico: smarter, and a vegetarian. He may have had lampshades made out of Jewish skin, but he ate neither his enemies nor his friends.”

Geez, guy, are you saying he achieved the Buddha’s detachment?

No, of course not. But at least he had a few twisted bits of ideologies to pull out of his sleeve. All this guy has is his imaginary playmate: God.”

So, if the Bush Gang gets a shot at another 4 years, we can expect more war?

“Didn’t he say on t.v. in front of his imaginary playmate and everybody that he was the War President? He’ll probably send troops into Syria—it’s right next door—and into Cuba. And probably Venezuela—if Chavez wins the referendum.

If he loses, the Escualidos will hand Venezuela’s oil over to Bush in exchange for a plate of lentils. Al estilo mexicano.

“In that case they’ll use all the troops in Colombia, Ecuador, Paraguay and the Caribbean to liberate the Amazon Basin.”

So there will not be peace in our time.

“Not a chance. I’ll overlook the reference to Chamberlain.”

This is very grim, Rave. I can’t even run away to the Amazon jungle to escape?

“Afraid not. The US soldiers will be so busy liberating oppressed peoples that you won’t find anyplace on the planet to hide.”

I believe Bolivar had something else to say, Rave.

“He had a lot to say, actually. But in this case, what?” Raven closes the book.

Something on the order of : “The United States appears to be destined by Fate to plague the Americas with miseries in the name of freedom.”

“Seems like he was right, too.”