Friday, June 06, 2003


Raven is holding his sides laughing. Pretty amazing when you consider that means he is levitating—no wing action at all.

What’s so funny?

“I don’t know if this is a joke or if it’s real, but this article says that Jason Blair is replacing Ari Fleisher as White House mouthpiece.” Raven wipes a tear from one beady eye and explodes in cackles.

It’s gotta be a joke, Rave! He’s that bogus alcoholic affirmative action bullshitter journalist that was fired from the NY TIMES.

“I know. I’m black and even I am offended by him. And the two head honchos from the TIMES just resigned. He brought down their house of cards, apparently.”

No way, Rave. They did it themselves by signing up to beat the war drums for the White House.

“My only hope is that he gets Bush back on the sauce. The world would be far better place with those two bozos falling off a barstool in Texas than sitting in the Oval Office.”

A very slender thread of hope, guy. I think we should consider heading south: Patagonia, or Tierra del Fuego.

“Swimming to Antarctica sounds about right….for you anyway. I can take the high road.”

Rave, straighten up and fly right.

Wednesday, June 04, 2003


Raven crouches on the windowsill.

Are you pretending to be a stuffed bird, or what?

“I’m depressed. The world is going to hell in a handbasket.”

Rave, you sound like my grandmother.

“I’ll bet she’s not even alive. Hendrix said: “There ain’t no life nowhere.” And he was right. He’s not alive either.

Yeah, on ARE YOU EXPERIENCED. The song was “I Don’t Live Today”. What IS this, guy: music trivia?

“There is no hope. First Wolfowitz told Vanity Fair that they invaded Iraq using the pretext of WMDs for “bureaucratic reasons.” Then he came out somewhere in Asia and said they didn’t care about North Korea because it wasn’t ‘sitting on a sea of oil’. All bets are off now, when those assholes can come out and say they invaded Iraq for the oil—without even making a pretext anymore.

I see your point, guy. But don’t take it personally. Outside that window is Pacific Ocean—bigger and bluer than any sea of oil in Iraq. And with blue skies overhead stretching at least to Guam.

Raven isn’t buying any of it.

“It’s all lies. Even the truth becomes a lie. War is peace. Oil is WMDS. Up is down. It’s a sea of shit….”

Some days are like that. You just have to sink to the bottom.