Saturday, January 10, 2004


In keeping with the spirit of a government headed (figuratively speaking) by a president with an IQ at the point of being invisible, yesterday's shameful stand-up comedy routine by Condy Rice precipitated her being labeled "a true illiterate" by Venezuela's president Hugo Chavez (with an IQ clearly well into triple digits as well as a tongue which occasionally could etch glass.)

"I don't have another word to describe her, " Chavez said. "We'll send her a copy of the Robinson Method; let's see if she can learn to read and to respect the dignity of other countries; let's see if she learns a little bit about us. Yesterday she let loose with her shameful artillery against Venezuela and against our government, saying among other things that Chavez shouldn't oppose the referendum.

"In the first place, what the devil do you have to do with referenda in Venezuela? You have nothing to do with what happens here--this only concerns Venezuelans. Why hasn't she shown any concern for the electoral process in which Bush won, that went down in history as a dubious electoral process. If he's a legitimate president or not isn't our problem, and we're not involved in it, but they also don't have any reason to be involved in anything here."

Chavez also reminded us that Condoleezza Rice, the 12th of April of 2002, celebrated and applauded the coup, giving her blessing to the government of Carmona and the tyranny which began in Venezuela, "and now she says she's defending democracy. Go figure...."

When he's angry, Raven is even more direct than Chavez:

"I'd give her the bird."


Ralph Nader is talking about running again. He says that it would heps the Democrats, by forcing them to move to the left, instead of being virtually indistinguishable from Republicans:

"I would not do this if I didn't really want to defeat Bush," Mr. Nader said, calling the McCarthy era "chicken feed compared with what we have now."

"Seeking justice supersedes everything," he said, sounding more than ever like a candidate. "Without justice, we have nothing in this world. We can't have freedom without justice. That's what freedom is supposed to be."

"If the second paragraph sounds like a direct quote from Hugo Chavez, well maybe great minds think alike," opines Raven as he tucks into his scrambled eggs.

That's what my grandmother always said. Speaking of chicken feed, Rave, did you see in the paper yesterday that Goerge W's IQ is exactly half that of Clinton's?

"No, but you must remember that we birds are sensitive about measuring our intelligence by the standards of your species."

The bird brain, as usual, has a point....

Every day Raven and I receive e-mails from a group we belong to called "RevoluciĆ³n Bolivariana". Normally all of the content is in Spanish, but today we were surprised to receive one from our companero "LeoLeo", with the following subject referenced:

History repeats itself: about the next geopolitical rape by the USA: Foreign Affairs Minister Roy Chadderton Matos tells Washington D.C. to stay out of Venezuelan domestic politics.

The news article referenced from is in English, so we are going to send it along as a follow-up to our comments on this site yesterday:

Foreign Minister (MRE) Roy Chaderton Matos has again accused the United States of interfering in Venezuela's sovereign political affairs ... the statement came after US National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice urged President Hugo Chavez Frias to "demonstrate that he believes in democratic processes" by allowing a possible recall referendum on his rule to "go through unhindered, unfettered ...and then living up to the terms of it."

Chaderton Matos says the possibility of holding the vote is not up to President Chavez Frias but to an autonomous National Elections Council (CNE) which is charged with verifying the more than 3.4 million signatures that Chavez opponents say they've submitted to petition a revocatory referendum. He adds that it is rather "surprising" that Rice didn't understand that or that she must otherwise be ill-informed.

Pro-Chavez Frias parliamentarians have lodged complains over widespread fraud in the November 28-December 1 signature-gathering campaign with many duplicates, signatures from dead voters etc. Meanwhile anti-Chavez Frias groupings are piling pressure on the CNE to resume verifying the signatures, which were turned in three weeks ago ... it has been fraught with procedural delays and the Christmas-New Year holudays.

There has been a week of contentious exchanges between Washington D.C. and Caracas with Cuba-hostile Condoleezza Rice saying it was beyond her believe "why anybody who believes in democracy or wants people to believe that they believe in democracy would want to have anything to do with Fidel Castro."

Paranoid US officials have accused Venezuela and Cuba of cooperating to undermine democratic governments through funding and indoctrination; however Venezuela's MRE Chaderton Matos immediately cites that the United States (in its own questionable interests) had relations with several countries whose governments are indeed not democratically house-clean.

President Chavez Frias has also been quick to deny US statements such as Rice's last Wednesday claim that "Colombia has concerns about activities that Venezuela may have been involved in" ... an obvious reference to earlier (denied) claims that Venezuela has "allowed Colombia rebels to use Venezuelan territory as a springboard for attacks."

Chaderton Matos says: "If Dr. Rice harbors the naive intention of provoking a fight between Venezuelans and Colombians, we can assure her that there is no power capable of achieving this objective!"

Vice President Jose Vicente Rangel says Venezuela hopes to have a normal relationship with the United States despite the tensions but that under President Chavez Frias, relations with the United States have undoubtedly been strained over ties to Cuba and criticism of Washington's principal policy goal for Latin America ... a proposed Free Trade Agreement of the Americas. However the rot really set in when Washington clearly took sides against democracy during the opposition-launched coup d'etat in April 2002 although they slammed into damage-control reverse as soon as US puppet dictator Pedro Carmona Estanga was himself overthrown by the overwhelming will of the people just two days later.

Nevertheless, Vice President Jose Rangel has taken on US Secretary of State Colin Powell following the latter's ill-chosen remarks on Venezuela's referendum which Rangel describes as "impertinent!"

Powell had pronounced, Thursday, that there will be a referendum vote against Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez if signatures are approved to activate the consultation. Rangel says "It is an impertinency, of course ... but Powell says a very interesting thing -- if the signatures are gathered there will be a revocation referendum. Obviously yes."

"Anyway, it is not up to Mister Powell, the US State Department or the United States ... but the National Elections Council of Venezuela will decide."

Raven looks confused:

"Does this mean that Venezuela is not a U.S. colony?"

Friday, January 09, 2004


“Hah! Now we have another member of the Bush Gang shooting her mouth off.”

Raven pours himself a cup of de-caf.

“This stuff has no get up and go to it.”

It isn’t supposed to get you up and going, guy. It’s just supposed to make you think you’re drinking coffee. I assume the big mouth in question is Condoleezza Rice?

“Who else? That Aunt Tomasina, embarrassment to black people everywhere, including me.”

So, what’s her beef?

“Ah, a wink at the Mad Cow….Nice. Listen to this from Yahoo News: ‘There are roles that Venezuela has played that have not been very helpful," Condoleezza Rice, US President George W. Bush's national security adviser, said in a briefing ahead of next week's Summit of the Americas in Mexico.’”

Helpful to whom? Where is it written that Venezuela is supposed to be the crying towel for the Bush Gang?

“Let me continue: ‘Rice cited tensions between Venezuela and neighboring Colombia as well as Chavez's good relations with Castro, who has outlasted successive US presidents for four decades despite pressure from Washington on his regime.'"

"'It is beyond me to understand why anybody who believes in democracy or wants people to believe that they believe in democracy would want to have anything in that regard to do with Fidel Castro, because that's the one truly undemocratic regime in the region,' Rice told reporters.’"

Hmmm. Seems like the one truly undemocratic regime in this region is The U.S.

“There’s more: ‘She also called on Chavez to abandon efforts to block a vote on cutting short his term after opposition leaders filed paperwork containing 3.4 million signatures gathered to support such a referendum.'"

"'The best thing that President Chavez could do at this point is to demonstrate that he believes in a democratic future for Venezuela by carrying out the wishes of his people in this regard,' said Rice.'"

I see. She is now a mind reader of what the Venezuelan people want. Apparently she thinks their votes in the ballot box do not represent their wishes?

“Well, remember who she’s working for. The US people’s votes in the 2000 election, when they elected Gore president, obviously were not considered.”

Good point, Rave. Is there more?

“Yeah: ‘She added that the United States was "working very closely" with the Organization of American States and non-governmental organizations that are "trying to ensure that this process goes off without interference.'"

Gee, guy, how much is she charging for the mind reading sessions? Seems to me the only interference in the democratic process in Venezuela has come from the US….Is that it?

“On the site they indicated also that when she compared the political situation in Venezuela with that of Peru a few years ago. She used this as an example of how with the help of the Organization of American States a country can come out victorious from a difficult political period.”

What a riot! Not only does she read the minds of entire countries (without, of course, speaking their language), but she also does stand up comedy. The president of Peru has been changing his cabinet every 15 minutes—expelling suspected lesbians and anyone else who doesn’t agree with his World Bank style of managing the country. His approval rating, the last time I checked, was 10 percent—otherwise referred to as “in the toilet”. Even the people opposed to Chavez put his rating at 40 percent—fairly phenomenal in Latin America after 5 years in office….

“Well, at least Danny Glover and a bunch of other African Americans are in Venezuela this week to redress the balance. They are talking about the US campaign of disinformation against Venezuela.”

I noticed that. They also indicated that the spirit of Martin Luther King was alive and well in Caracas.

“Good place to be black. Too bad my habitat stops at the border with Guatemala…”

Thursday, January 08, 2004


“Geez, those guys are idiots.”

Raven turns away from the t.v. screen in disgust.

I wasn’t watching, Rave. Which idiots?

“Some FBI jokers—now running the show at the Mexico City airport—decided that there was a bomb in a guy’s suitcase that was padlocked. So there was a big hoo hah and it turned out that the suitcase contained coffee and chocolate.”

Odd that coffee and chocolate would arouse the suspicion of metal detectors. Or maybe those are now typical bomb ingredients. Does the C-4 in C-4 plastic explosives stand for coffee or for chocolate? And who was this chocolate bomber?

“A gringo tourist. Wouldn’t you know? Tall, blond, crewcut—clearly a dead ringer for Osama Bin Laden.”

A very busy guy, that Osama. And omnipresent, like God. Trips to the IMSS clinic for dialysis don’t slow him down from training guerrillas among the five star hotels on Isla Margarita, Venezuela, and kidnapping the aquifers in Paraguay—and now terrorizing the Mexico City airport with chocolate bombs. This is starting to sound like a cut-rate version of “Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego?”.

“Good detective work, gumshoe.”

And in other news?

“Just the usual. Twenty five convicts were broken out of a supposed maximum security prison in Michoacan.”

Twenty five?

“I guess they figured it would be as easy to break 25 guys out of jail as the 5 drug dealers they were supposed to break out.”

Apparently they were right. And where are they now?

“Some of the non-drug dealers have been scooped up already. Who knows about the others. They’re probably not at the Mexico City airport, though.”

Unless they are checking the passengers….

Wednesday, January 07, 2004


Raven has crumbs on his beak this morning.

“Rave, you ate the rest of the rosca!”

Raven glances around the room.

“Who, me? Nah. It must have been those 3 wise guys who finished it.”

Ay, wise guys. They’re not supposed to be mafiosos, but Wise Men. Kings. It was pretty tasty, though. And, as the guy from Alcoholics Anonymous who sold it to me pointed out, it was for a good cause. As for the 3 wise guys, who might they be?

“I’ll give you a hint as to who they aren’t: George Bush (father and/or son—take your pick), Dick Cheney and Vicente Fox.

Raven discreetly polishes his beak, effectively disposing of the crumbs from the rosca.

I wouldn’t have picked any of them. The biggest sucker, at the moment (por ahora, in the words of Hugo Chavez after his military coup failed in February of 1992), is clearly Vicente Fox.

“Because he fell on his face while hitting the piƱata in Los Pinos?”

No, Rave. because he has allowed the FBI to invade Mexico. They are crawling like cockroaches through all the airports—especially in Mexico City—terrorizing all the Mexican passengers (Monday night the president of the Mexican Senate, who was flying to Los Angeles, was practically strip searched!), and canceling flights (costing the Mexican carriers a big heap of money.) Fox has tossed Mexico’s sovereignty out the window, and even said that the presence of FBI agents, bomb-sniffing (and no doubt butt-sniffing) dogs as well as the flotsam and jetsam from the US Embassy, in the airports was “normal”.

“If human rights violation are the rule of the day, then I suppose he’s right.”

Raven is poking around in the refrigerator.

“Don’t we have anything to drink besides water?”

What do you want, guy: coca cola? You’d better grab the water while you can. The Senate of Paraguay just approved the invasion of US troops in the Triple Frontera (with Brazil and Argentina)—they key to this idiocy is the announcement that they will be joint maneuvers with the Paraguayan navy!

“I’ll say. Isn’t Paraguay—like Bolivia—landlocked?”

So far as I know it is. This time the US believes that Osama Bin Laden has taken control of the world’s largest fresh water aquifer—and they’re going to take it back from him? So start guzzling the H2O, guy.

“Advice taken. Not only that, but the new US primary school geography text, “Introduction to Geography”, by David Norman, indicates that in the middle of the 1980s the US and the UN took control of the entire Amazon region because it was located “in one of the poorest regions of the world and surrounded by irresponsible, cruel and authoritarian countries.”

Irresponsible, cruel and authoritarian? Amazing description of the Bush administration. Now they are changing the maps even before they invade the countries. And your average US citizen, who doesn’t even know on which continent Brazil is located, wouldn’t know the difference. So we’ve got the FBI in Mexico, the US Army in Iraq, Afghanistan, Paraguay, Bolivia....

“The force they sent in October to pulse the peace when The Gringo was booted out of the presidency is still there?”

Evo Morales says yes, and that they’ve killed indigenous folks in the mountains.

“Mexico, Iraq, Afghanistan, Paraguay, Bolivia, Ecuador, Colombia (of course!)....”

And undoubtedly they are dreaming of a beach in Venezuela.

“I assume you’re referring to Hugo Chavez and Jimmy Carter dreaming of a beach in Bolivia?”

I might be, but the latest round of accusations that Castro, Chavez and Morales are buzzing guerrillas all around the continent to destabilize “democratically elected governments” sounds like the US plans to have another go at overthrowing the democratically elected president of Venezuela.

“We ARE coming up on the second anniversary of the US financed 47 hour coup.”

Last year they were too busy bombing the shit out of Baghdad to invade Venezuela. This year they have more troops, and because Iraq’s oil production is still in the toilet, more incentive to go after Venezuelan oil.

“Dogfaces in Maracaibo in April?”

The only thing that surprises me about the agenda of the Bush Gang of Petrocriminals (to which we must now add Aguacriminals) is that almost nobody else seems to regard their invasions and other terrorist acts as being the least bit irregular.

“Who was it who said: ‘There’s a better universe next door; let’s go.’?”

I believe it was e.e.cummings, Rave.

“You think he was right?”