THE CHOCOLATE BOMBER

“Geez, those guys are idiots.”

Raven turns away from the t.v. screen in disgust.

I wasn’t watching, Rave. Which idiots?

“Some FBI jokers—now running the show at the Mexico City airport—decided that there was a bomb in a guy’s suitcase that was padlocked. So there was a big hoo hah and it turned out that the suitcase contained coffee and chocolate.”

Odd that coffee and chocolate would arouse the suspicion of metal detectors. Or maybe those are now typical bomb ingredients. Does the C-4 in C-4 plastic explosives stand for coffee or for chocolate? And who was this chocolate bomber?

“A gringo tourist. Wouldn’t you know? Tall, blond, crewcut—clearly a dead ringer for Osama Bin Laden.”

A very busy guy, that Osama. And omnipresent, like God. Trips to the IMSS clinic for dialysis don’t slow him down from training guerrillas among the five star hotels on Isla Margarita, Venezuela, and kidnapping the aquifers in Paraguay—and now terrorizing the Mexico City airport with chocolate bombs. This is starting to sound like a cut-rate version of “Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego?”.

“Good detective work, gumshoe.”

And in other news?

“Just the usual. Twenty five convicts were broken out of a supposed maximum security prison in Michoacan.”

Twenty five?

“I guess they figured it would be as easy to break 25 guys out of jail as the 5 drug dealers they were supposed to break out.”

Apparently they were right. And where are they now?

“Some of the non-drug dealers have been scooped up already. Who knows about the others. They’re probably not at the Mexico City airport, though.”

Unless they are checking the passengers….