THE SOAP AMENDMENT


Raven is dunking a piece of cinnamon bark in his coffee.

Didn’t I put a big enough piece of bark in the pot when I made the coffee?

“You did fine. I am thinking about eating some of this, so I’m softening it up.”

May I ask why you’re going to eat it?

“I was reading that cinnamon is a hot food that stimulates the body’s energy and recuperative powers. So I thought I’d give it a try.”

I see. Have you read anything else interesting this morning?

“Actually, yeah.” Raven turns to look at the computer screen. “Turns out the Soap Amendment passed in the US House of Representatives.”

What is the Soap Amendment?

“That’s not its real name. That’s my name for it. It was an amendment proposed to rescind a part of the Bush Gang’s latest abusive measures against Cuba. So that Cubans in the island could continue to receive packages from family members in the States with so-called first priority articles, such as food, toothpaste and soap.”

So now they’ll be able to receive the soap, right?

“Uh huh. Only once a month, though.”

They need to send a lot, then. Cubans, like other Latin Americans, are conspicuously cleaner than folks from the States. Well, just a minute. There are exceptions—yesterday in the taxi I had to roll down the window even though it was raining because the taxista stank to….

“I get the picture. Let me eat my cinnamon bark without vomiting, okay?”

I can’t imagine you vomiting, Rave. I thought Ravens were omnivorous.

“Theoretically, that’s true. But we do vomit. Vultures vomit a lot more, though, and their vomit is a staple of Eagle’s diet.”

You’re pulling my leg.

“Would I do that? No need to answer. I don’t think the cinnamon bark is working. I am still nauseated thinking about Bush rubbing his grubby hands together and thinking that Cuban people won’t be able to bathe or brush their teeth.”

Or EAT! Didn’t you say that food was the other first priority item he was trying to head off at the pass?

“Yep” Raven looks very sly. “Eagle would say….”

Rave, don’t go there. Go for a flight, please.

Raven flies out the window with the piece of cinnamon bark in his claw, and drops it in the neighbor’s garbage can.